The Bromance Beneath the Fantasy: What Buddy Baiting and Cuckolding Reveal About Male Intimacy

A New Kind of Male Intimacy

There’s a sexual subculture known as buddy baiting — where straight men gather, virtually or in person, to masturbate together. It’s not about penetration or gay sex; it’s about shared erotic energy, camaraderie, and mutual arousal.

It overlaps with a newer internet trend called goonerism, which focuses more on the solo trance-like state of edging to porn for long periods. But buddy baiting has a distinctly social quality. It’s about being witnessed, energized, and connected — experiencing the charge of arousal alongside other men without necessarily crossing into overt sexual contact.

At first glance, it might sound like just another niche kink. But as someone who works closely with men exploring their erotic selves, I see something much deeper: a longing for connection, affirmation, and intimacy among men that our culture doesn’t know how to name.

The Soft Side of the “Straight Male Fantasy”

Over the years, I’ve worked with countless men drawn to cuckolding, hotwife dynamics, and MFM (male–female–male) threesomes. Most of them identify as completely straight. Yet when we explore what truly draws them to these fantasies, the emotional undertone is rarely about competition — it’s about connection.

There’s a bromantic thread woven through these experiences — a sense of teamwork, of shared purpose, of brotherhood. The woman may be the focal point, but the real spark often happens between the men: the trust, the rhythm, the mutual respect.

It’s a kind of intimacy that feels safe, familiar, and socially permissible. A place where men can drop the armor and express admiration and tenderness — without having to name it as such.

Platonic Intimacy in Disguise

Modern masculinity leaves little room for vulnerability, touch, or affection between men. Many of the men I work with describe feeling emotionally starved — craving closeness but unsure where to find it.

Erotic spaces like buddy baiting sessions, or even the shared experience of a cuckolding fantasy, can become one of the few places where men safely explore those needs. They offer a chance to be witnessed, to trust, to share energy and excitement without judgment.

Sometimes, that shared space — the simple being with another man in erotic energy — becomes more nourishing than the act itself.

Erotic Energy as Male Bonding

Through a Neo-Tantra lens, this makes perfect sense. Sexual energy is life force energy. It doesn’t have to be confined to romance or heterosexual dynamics.

When men share erotic energy — even without touching — they access something ancient: the communal, brother-to-brother intimacy that’s been missing from modern masculinity.

In buddy baiting, that can look like rhythmic breathing, laughter, teasing, and an unspoken bond that allows men to be fully embodied and unguarded.

It’s not about wanting to be with another man — it’s about wanting to feel with another man.

A Gentle Reminder About Desire

Of course, the driving force behind everyone’s desires is uniquely personal. Not every man who enjoys buddy baiting, cuckolding, or MFM dynamics is seeking deeper male connection — and not every fantasy can or should be psychoanalyzed.

Desire is complex. It’s shaped by our personal histories, emotional wiring, and unspoken longings.

So this reflection isn’t meant to define the motivations of every man who explores these kinks — it’s simply an observation I’ve noticed, again and again, through years of client work and within the kink communities I’ve been part of.

Reclaiming the Sacred in Shared Pleasure

Perhaps what these practices really reveal isn’t deviance or shame, but a quiet yearning for brotherhood — for men to feel seen, accepted, and connected without the pressure to perform masculinity.

If we strip away the porn and performance, what remains is something profoundly human: the desire to connect.

Maybe that’s the true current running beneath it all — not sexual deviance, but an ache for belonging. A remembrance of something ancient, tender, and sacred.

Because at the heart of every fantasy lies a truth: the body is always trying to find its way home — to connection, to safety, to love.