I've spent my entire life trying to be perfect: the easy going girlfriend; the dedicated wife; the selfless mother; the independent career woman. I did all of the things that society told me I was supposed to do.
But somewhere along the way, I lost myself. At first I attributed it to the grief of losing a parent. But then life's other demands started taking up more of my attention and energy. I fell into a rut, one that I assumed was simply the price of being a responsible adult in our modern world. You couldn't necessarily see this rut from the outside looking in; as far as my professional and social circles were concerned, I was outgoing, affable, and ambitious.
But my ex husband would've told you that I was "frigid". I argued that I was simply bored. But not necessarily bored with him - I was bored with myself.
I spent the next several years searching for the "best" version of myself: I ran ultra marathons, I competed in bodybuilding competitions, I dedicated myself to an illustrious career in the insurance industry. The entirety of my life was spent in the pursuit of physical discipline and professional success.
The externalities of the world will tell you that you have to find the right husband, that you have to find the right job, that you have to find the right eyeliner, that you have to find, collect, and personify all of the "right" things in order to find this best version of yourself.
But really, you just have to find what's already inside of you. You've taken it with you everywhere. You've had it since you were young. You've had your dreams... you've had your ideas...but then you had to be "good". You had to follow "the rules". You couldn't be too tall; you couldn't be too short; you can't be too thin; you can't be too fat; you can't be too much of anything that isn't "perfect".
Through my depression, through my anxiety, throughout a global pandemic, I eventually learned that in order to find myself...I didn't need any more rules. What I really needed was permission to let go. I had to let go of the shame that kept my deepest desires confined to the most hidden corners of my heart. Because all of this time...the best version of myself was always there.
She was just waiting to be unleashed...
In order to encourage more women to feel liberated, I've launched a three month coaching program called Aphrodite Unleashed. Allow me to guide you through a journey of self discovery through weekly personalized sessions. Throughout this journey, you will build a foundation of embodiment and safety within yourself; explore your sexuality without judgment or shame; and learn how to bring your most authentic self into your intimate relationships.
It's time to let your inner Goddess come out to play....
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