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The Soup of Thoughts: Understanding My Mind’s Complexity



For most of my life, I believed that internal monologues were a literary or cinematic device rather than an everyday facet of human thinking. It was only recently that I realized many people experience a continuous internal dialogue in their waking lives. This revelation prompted me to explore the intricate workings of my own thought processes, which I’ve come to liken to a complex soup.


One of the notable challenges stemming from my lack of a constant internal monologue arises in my interpersonal relationships. While my soup-like mind is a captivating subject for introspection, it has occasionally caused confusion and frustration for those close to me. Expressing my thoughts and emotions can be difficult, especially in emotionally charged moments. The blend of emotions, memories, and logic often overwhelms me, hindering my ability to convey my feelings and intentions effectively. This non-linear thought process has led to misunderstandings and miscommunications, leaving both myself and my loved ones feeling perplexed and disconnected.

In truth, even crafting this essay has been a year-long endeavor. The intricacies of my thought process, coupled with the challenge of presenting them logically and coherently, have prolonged this journey. Now, allow me to explain how my emotions, memories, logic, and occasional fragments of internal monologue converge to shape my unique thought patterns.


The Broth: Emotional State: Picture your mind as a simmering pot of soup, with the broth symbolizing my emotional state. Emotions serve as the fundamental building blocks of my thoughts, infusing every aspect of my thinking with their intensity. When my emotions run high, the broth boils, making it difficult to distinguish individual ingredients and leading to confusion in articulating my thoughts clearly.


The Chunks of Meat and Vegetables: Visual and Sensory Memories: Within this mental soup, substantial chunks of meat and vegetables represent my visual and sensory memories. These elements are crucial for constructing thoughts and ideas, adding depth and substance to my thinking. They consist of recollections of past experiences, images, and sensations that I draw upon when forming thoughts, grounding my ideas in the real world.


The Noodles: Trains of Logic: Logic, within my mental soup, takes the form of noodles that wind and interweave throughout the mixture. These noodles symbolize trains of thought and reasoning processes that connect my ideas, offering structure and coherence. In moments of calm, these noodles untangle gracefully, allowing me to piece together ideas logically. However, during emotional turbulence, these noodles can become knotted and tangled, making it challenging to maintain rational thinking.


Tiny Bits of Internal Monologue: Occasionally, amidst the broth, meat, vegetables, and noodles, I encounter tiny fragments of internal monologue. These are snippets of verbal thoughts that season the soup, adding a hint of clarity to the overall flavor. When my emotions are at ease, these fragments become more prominent, enabling me to express my thoughts verbally and coherently.

Understanding how my thoughts coalesce into a complex and flavorful soup has enabled me to navigate my internal world more effectively. Emotions drive the process, visual and sensory memories provide substance, logic offers structure, and internal monologue adds clarity. Much like a skilled chef balances ingredients to create a harmonious soup, I strive to balance these mental components to convey my thoughts and emotions accurately.


By acknowledging the interplay of these elements within my mind, I can better communicate with others, whether my thought soup simmers gently or boils vigorously. It’s a reminder that our minds are unique, and the way we process and convey thoughts forms a rich tapestry reflecting our individuality. Embracing this complexity not only allows us to appreciate the diversity of human thought and communication, but also necessitates patience (and a lot of grace) from my loved ones.

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